House Elves & House Demons

Remember "Dobby", Harry Potter's House Elf?  Cute little guy and pretty rascally most of the time. BUT---a more loving and loyal friend would be hard to find in the world of Muggles OR Wizards. 

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!!  I  have found not one Dobby, but a whole bunch of Dobbys.  They are everywhere!  Coming out of the woodwork and arriving at my doorstep! Their names are Susan, Jessica, Lois, Mary Ellen, Debbie, Maggie, "Church Ladies" and many others--please forgive me if I omitted your name. These House Elves come into my home and happily clean our kitchen, wash, dry, fold and put away our laundry, bring food, make me lunch, change the sheets on our bed, empty trash, play with our dogs and...well, you get the picture.  They are really part House Elf and part Angel.  I am so blessed that sometimes I can't believe it.  To have so many friends who are so concerned about me is a priceless gift--so priceless, in fact that I couldn't buy them, even with a MasterCard.  In fact, they don't even take MasterCard!  They do all this for free.


The problem is that their work often gets sabotaged by House Demons.  Let me show you what I mean:

My kitchen after a House Elf visit :-)

                          My kitchen the very next day:-[                              

My laundry room after House Elf visit! :-)

Laundry appears the very next day! :-[

Where does it all come from 
the very next day???

 

Empty trash can thanks to a House Elf

The only way to set a House Elf free is to give them a piece of clothing.  I'm not ready to give my "Dobbys" their socks just yet!!  I LOVE my House Elves!!!!

The Double F

So far this month I've written about friends and food.  How about one more "F"? Actually it's a double F--Feelings of Frustration.  That's where I am today.  Every so often my pain and not being able to do things get all mixed up in my head and I become very frustrated.  If I hobble around the house to empty the dishwasher or load the washer or make the bed I feel like I've accomplished something but my leg really hurts and swells during and after.  That means I need to go lie down for a few hours before my leg settles down.  The doctor said I could be up for short periods in the house.  They really don't want me to be sitting all day long.  Too many problems come from that--DVT's, pneumonia, bedsores, crumbs in the bed and on and on.  

I'm not sure right now how to get past this double F curse.  I try to stay very positive for myself and my family and friends.  No one wants to be around a grouchy cripple and since I want my friends and family around me I try to be nice. The only really 'lucky' one to see the real me is my husband, bless him.  Last evening for some reason I was a first class "B" (another alphabet word) and since Dave was here (after all, he does live here) he got blasted.  I got mad at him because I spilled a full glass of wine all over the table.  I got mad at him because HE was cleaning it up.  Then I got mad at him because he made me sit down while he cleaned and then he made me supper!  Does that make sense to anyone but me??? 

There's a cloud over this whole recuperation period because of how I broke my bones in the first place.  I keep reminding myself that it is this prime example of how I can't do everything I want to do.  Freedom isn't the absence of restriction; it's having self-imposed limits that allow you to be all you can without overdoing it.  Just like kids, we need rules and guidelines in our lives in order to be truly free.  Kind of a weird concept.  So, where are these Fs of F coming from?  Probably all of the above: I'm overly-restricted right now so I don't feel free.  I fell because I loosened up some of my restrictions and I'm frustrated because I have to have too many restrictions.  The happy medium is out there right now.  Out in the nebulous "there".  I know I'll reach it again but in this season of mixed up freedom don't be surprised if I snap at you for a random act of kindness.  Just know that the real "ME" will return soon.

In the meantime, I'll just keep KNITTIN' WITHOUT NEEDLES!

Comfort Food Day

It's raining in Fresno!!  Big news since we haven't seen it for months and months.  And I have on long pants and a long sleeved shirt.  That means it's cool outside and calls for comfort food, a good book and a snuggle with the pups.  I was going to take a pic of my other comfort food, buttered toast, but I ate it too fast.  All I have is the crumbs.  The thing that really tipped the scales for a great day was I heard about 5 seconds of thunder.  I really miss the rip-roaring thunderstorms we had in the Midwest so I covet each roll.  So, since I don't have anything better to do I'm hunkerin' down this afternoon.  I'd love to have company if anybody's free.  I even have some more soup and toast!

Treasured Friends

KATE. A FRIEND FOREVER

HALLE is so adorable.  I caught her eating--
it's the only pic I have of her!
She tried to hide from me when I had the camera!

This past weekend was great!!! My BFF  came down to visit with her daughter, Halle. We grew up in Eureka, Illinois but for the past 20+ years have both lived in California. We live only a few hours from each other but it's been years since we've gotten together.  We were busy with kids and life and her daughter is still young (junior high) so she's still busy!  You know how it is when you don't see a good friend for a long time and you get back together?  You don't miss a beat.  That's how it is with her.  We have a 55 year history together so we go waaaaaaaay back.  We know each others' families, warts and all (Well, my family had warts, not sure if Kate's family did, but we got them burned off.....ha ha)  The love that we share is rare because of all we've been through together.  From grade school tribulations to high school tragedies (I don't have a date for Prom!!!!!) we saw each other through.  Kate and I were a part of the BIG THREE.  Our third friend was Nancy who still lives in Illinois.  We were never seen apart and there was nothing the three of us couldn't conquer.  I really don't know how I would have made it without them.  I think I'd be a different person today if I had never met them.  I would probably even be a bit quieter...we could, and still can, make a lot of noise!  In fact my son commented during Kate's visit that this has been my loudest visit yet!  We admit it, we're loud.  Dave kept telling us to use our "inside voices" but we don't have inside voices.  No off button..don't even try!

So I've been thinking about friendship--the kind of friends that we are.  We grew up in the 50's and 60's when life was a lot different.  Our parents weren't afraid to send us to the grocery store on our bikes or even to let us ride all over town.  Everyone looked out for everyone.  That works the other way, too.  If we did something naughty our parents would hear about it before we got home.  It was really difficult to hide things from them.  My parents knew all my classmates and most of their parents.  That at least spared my dates having to come in to meet my dad.  Chances are they had already met or our dads were friends or co-workers. All the moms in the neighborhoods were friends and the kids just went from one house to the next feeling just at home next door or down the block as in their own house.  I stay in touch with several of these friends and love getting together with them when I go back to Eureka, but my BFF's are almost like sisters.  It's a different kind of closeness and I will always marvel at how fortunate I am to have them in my life.  Even if years go by without seeing each other, we know that the other is there and sometimes that's enough. We always worried that we'd forget each other when we went off to college...that we'd meet our best friends in college.  That didn't happen.  We stayed close through the years and I treasure that.  I love knowing that there are a few people who "knew me when" and still like me!  We've changed for sure but that little spark of who we once were is still there, just under the surface.  I love my friends, especially my two BFF's.  That term wasn't around when we were kids.  I guess we just said the words without the initials...Best Friends Forever.  They're one of the very best things I have taken from my childhood!

Bored--moi??? Oui, oui!!!

I really hate to admit this, but yes, I think I am getting bored. It's either time to do something constructive or just sleep for the next few weeks/months of my recuperation.  I'm not going to do that.  I think it's just that I'm feeling well enough now to be bored so that means I'm well enough to start being productive.  The logical thing to do would be to write as I have many, many writing projects to begin and/or finish.  That's something to look forward to.  Last evening I was getting a bad case of cabin fever so Dave hauled me out and loaded me into Murray (his car) and drove me around just like "Miss Daisy".  It feels kind of silly in the back seat but that's all I can do because I have to stretch my leg out.  It was a beautiful evening and we just drove around Woodward Park and the neighborhood.  We stopped at McDonald's for one of my favorite treats--an ice cream cone.  Really, it is so good and only 4 WW points and it costs just over a dollar.  Reminds me of going to the "Custard Stand" back home when I was a kid!

I've been 'mourning' missing my 40th class reunion this past weekend.  This was also to be a reunion with my mom and two sisters.  That happens so rarely and I was really looking forward to it.  We always laugh so much that our sides hurt for days.  Last time I got a bruise on my side from holding it while I laughed.  One sister is from Indiana and the other lives in France and my mom lives in Illinois.  Too far apart, but they say I'm the one who moved away from them so it's my fault :-)  We talked on the phone today for over an hour.  Our trip wasn't cancelled, it was postponed, so we'll see if we can have another go at it.  The class reunion will have to wait until 2016.  I hope I last that long!!!!!!

Shower of Blessing or Blessing the Shower

Yesterday was a banner day!  I got to take a shower for the first time in  almost 3 weeks!  Since our bedroom and bathroom with a shower is upstairs I hadn't anticipated being able to 'hop' into the shower so soon.  But when geniuses put their heads together they come up with interesting ideas.  We thought that if I would scoot up the stairs backwards while Dave held on to my leg it might work...and it did.  I waited at the top of the stairs while he got 'Chuck' (the walker).  Getting into the the shower isn't a one-woman job.  I do have my trusty shower chair and the ledge of the tub is high enough for me to rest my leg.  Waiting for that first blast of water from the shower, I'm a sitting duck.  So far the first shower hasn't given me 3rd degree burns or turned me into an icicle!  Never, never, never underestimate the importance of a hot shower!  I feel human again!

Here I am sitting in my own bed!  We just got a new mattress and have a 3" memory foam topper.  It's awesome and the first time I lay down I knew I had really missed my mattress!  Last night I slept there and it was the best night's sleep I'd had in weeks....Can't wait until bedtime tonight!!!

The Chair

I'm getting a lot of rest and relaxation while I'm on my 'med-cation'. Here I'm in an ancient leather Lazy Boy recliner. A few decades ago it was a Christmas present to my father-in-law. He logged many hours on this baby in a few different residences and at the end stage of his life it was his escape from his bed in the nursing home. He had it sitting right next to the window and he'd sit there basking in the warmth. As I lay here crippled I thought of him. At age 30 he had a particularly nasty episode of polio and was left without the ability to walk. From age 30 to his death at almost 80 he sat either in a wheelchair or some other chair. We tried to help him by getting him comfortable places to sit to give his backside a rest. He was constantly re-adjusting himself in the wheelchair because of painful pressure areas. He tried every kind of seat cushion and whenever something new was on the market he would try it in hopes of being more comfortable. Once a product came out that was supposed to be the end of his troubles. A gel cushion would give support yet avoid any direct pressure areas. Your butt would just happily float along wherever you went. We were all excited about this state of the art cushion. The problem was that after only weeks of use, the gel cushion became a pancake. Flat and hard. No good. What a disappointment. My father-in-law was not a big man and with his atrophied muscles he was well within the average or below average weight for his height. So, it was back to the drawing board. He never did find one that was really satisfactory. He did have a sheepskin that he sat on that helped some. I have that now and am using it as well as his chair.

As I'm in my period of being unable to walk I think of him a lot. At first he was able to use a walker some of the time but soon he became too weak because of post-polio syndrome. Gradually his wheelchair became his home away from home. I rarely, if ever heard him complain. If something was uncomfortable for him or he wasn't able to do something he would make a joke instead of whine. I'm feeling restricted because of what I'm going through right now, but I'm so very fortunate. Unlike Al Friesen, I have an end date. I know that in a few months I'll be walking again independently. He never had that assurance. When he had polio, my husband Dave had it as well. Neither one of them was expected to live but they both did and went on to have incredibly productive lives. In spite of the recovery, that experience in 1956 changed their lives forever. I'll hit those details sometime. It's an incredible story!

What I'm getting at is this: There are a lot of similarities between what I'm going through now and what he went through. I'm trying to have a good attitude and make the most of this time. It's not that hard to keep my chin up for a few months. I'm having a hard time understanding what it would mean to try to do that for decades like Al did. He suffered privately. Sometimes he would let us in on his grief, but usually he kept it in. That's contrary to popular thinking--we're supposed to seek support and let our feelings out so we can do things to improve the situation. In the mid-fifties there wasn't much in the way of that kind of support so he suffered in silence. It would, undoubtedly have been much healthier for him if he had outlets to help him, but he managed to rise above so much adversity and carve out a place for himself and his family. I loved him for many reasons, but I also learned from him. I'm taking a page out of his book and am going to make the most out of a situation that could be destructive. As I sit in his chair I'll try to channel some of his energy and love and hopefully be an example to others of how to handle adversity with dignity.