DAY #4 Billings, Montana to Fargo, North Dakota

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October 25, 2014

Saturday

9:00 am

Leaving Billings

Started the day by going to Albertson’s for breakfast—yogurt parfaits, banana, and waters.

We set the GPS for Fargo, ND and it took us to I 94E. Then it informed us: “Stay on this road for 567 miles.”  The interstate is good—4 lanes almost all the way and not congested but it cuts a line across the middle of Montana and ND.  In Montana the scenery is beautiful to Billings then gets flatter, more prairie like. 

12:00 noon

 We stopped once in Miles City, Montana.  Had to drive a couple miles away from the interstate.  Cute little town with farm machinery dealers on every corner.  A nice city park and a cute downtown.  We got gas and had a pit stop.  Then back on I-94 E. Eastern Montana has lots of  beautiful mesas.  And prairies….lots and lots of prairies.

Beach, ND

~1:00

Hello North Dakota and welcome to the Beach.  No sand or snorkels but a lot of truck drivers at the Flyin’ J.  We sat on the curb in the parking lot and ate the wonderful leftovers from last night’s supper—prime rib, baked potato, and broccoli. Bread, lettuce salad, and cheese quesadillas. Delish.  Took Alice for a short walk and she suddenly started sneezing with her whole body.  Serial sneezes that shook her whole self.   It was cute for me, but Emilie was concerned.  Alice finally stopped and Em gave her ½ Benadryl.  Hopefully we won’t run into that weed again!  But if we do I hope I have my movie camera ready! 

         

At the truck stop we also got a wide angle mirror to attach to the driver’s side mirror.  I mentioned previously about Henry being stuffed to the gills.  He is.  We can’t see out the back window so we bought this little round mirror and it works beautifully.  Now we can see our blind spot.  Wish it was that easy to get rid of all our blind spots in our lives…

3:16 pm

Central Time Zone so it’s really 4:16 pm.

North Dakota is much flatter than Montana or Idaho.  Lots and lots of prairie land.  There’s only a few towns by the interstate.  The people we meet are all very nice, though.

It’s now 7:06 pm.  We have gone 495 miles today!  I have no idea about the time we’ve been in the car because of all these crazy time zones.  We made a stop in Bismark about an hour ago.  I wanted to get a thumb drive for my iPhone pics because it wouldn’t let me take any more.  So we stopped at Target—where else?  We easily fell into our familiar shopping routine but also knew we needed to get going.  Our big target experience will be in Raleigh to get Em things she needs and didn’t bring.  That’s always fun.  We got a Starbuck’s Latte and some string cheese and apple slices.  Ready to go again.  Our ETA for Fargo is 9:07 pm. It’s 7:09 right now.  We have a backwards and forwards time schedule.  We will have a sandwich when we get to our hotel and go to bed.  We’re going to try to get up early tomorrow. Oh, and we didn’t see any icy warnings over bridges.  We saw one partially dry river bed but must not have crossed any  Bridges.  Are there none in NoDak?

Got into Fargo last night at 9:00 pm.  Had eaten PBJ’s on the road so we could go right to bed.  Emilie did.  I did not.  There was a Giants game on.  And we won 11-4. It was a 4 hour game.  So I got to bed around 11:30 pm.  We both set alarms for 6:30 am.  So, back to the Giants game.  I had almost given up when we were behind 2-4 but in the 5^th we broke loose and kept scoring runs through the rest of the game.  Too good not to watch.

Emilie and Deb's Next Great Adventure Begins Day #1

October 22, 2014 5:59 PM. Wednesday.  Day #1

Leaving Susan Lane
McMinnville, Oregon at last!

Emilie's friends cleaned the upstairs bedrooms and bath

Emilie's NOT a happy mover

The Door Shut Tight and Locked

After several days of intense packing the POD finally got full.  The adventures we had with that POD were forgettable but let me explain.  Originally the POD was to be delivered on Thursday.  Em thought we’d pack it up and leave that evening—because of a glitch in the ordering the POD was delivered before we even got home from Hawai’i.  That was a good thing because we needed several days to finish packing, clean the house and start driving.  Dave was still with us (he flew home on Tuesday night) so he helped a lot.  Em’s friends came on Tuesday night and cleaned the upstairs.  That was much appreciated.  The next day Emilie and I finished packing/loading/cleaning and got in the car at 5:59 pm.

6:00 pm

Leaving Susan Lane...again

Went back to Susan Lane.  Thought we left a bill on the counter.  False alarm.  The bill was in Em’s purse.  Here we go (again).  With McMinnville in the rear view mirror (which we can’t use because Henry is loaded to the gills—Explanation: Henry is Em’s Black 2006 Ford Escape.—we were a bit concerned about the POD because it was pouring rain all day and it was starting to leak.  Plus every time we opened it, more rain got in.  I’m talking cats and dogs here people. 

I asked Emilie to share some thoughts as we leave town. 

         I’m so ready

         No regrets

         No sadness

         I didn’t pack too well at the end but all is well—we’re on our way!  Here's the year in review:

 Good Things                                            Not So Good Things

Constantly challenged                          Unnecessarily stressful job

Met girls in Bible Study                      Never found a church home

Had a nice home                        Never connected with community

9:00 pm Rest Stop

Potty break at a little gas station.  Felt a little creepy because it was late and not very many people around.  Guy working there was nice.  We bought Rum and Cherry flavored lifesavers and lemon bars and Nilla Wafers. 

9:20 pm

Back on the road we see red, white and blue lights.  Should we go towards the light or flee?  What state are the lights in?  We decided to go towards the lights.  We think we’re in Washington State.  We know we’re missing out on a lot of gorgeous scenery because we’re driving through the area in the dark and it’s raining.  We just try to visualize what it must be like outside. that's why there are no pictures to accompany this section.

Uh-oh.  We’re still in Oregon.  100 miles to Pendleton, Oregon.  So we finally figured out we’re going east right along the Washington/Oregon border.  If you’re wondering how we managed to get this far without knowing where we were, Sam, the GPS Guy is telling us where to go—in a good way.

 10:33 pm Washington State

Birthplace of George Washington?  No but they have pictures of him all over the place. But this is the Evergreen State.

11:00 pm Anywhereville, USA

Gas, Pit stop and Coffee.  Safeway gas.  Saved 20cents/gallon with our Vons card.  Whoopee!  We are near Walla Walla, Washington.  Jessica says it’s the last of civilization.

No pictures of this drive because it was raining and dark outside.

We are on a vacation that we've been planning for a long, long time.  It was always a dream to take all our kids with us to Hawaii but for some reason or another it never worked out.

Winning and Losing

As I'm writing this blog entry, our Alma Mater, Wichita State University is playing in the NCAA tournament.  It's going to be a close game--right now WSU is behind by 4 points.  This team has not lost a game all season.  They are 35-0 right now, an NCAA record.  I don't like close games and I really don't like losing games.  How can this be?  They have to win today.  Why?  Just because they have a perfect record and have to continue.  Kentucky can't take it away from them.

Boy, I sound like a real sportsy type person.  I'm usually passive when it comes to anything but baseball (Go Giants!) but a good basketball game is always enjoyable.  Football? I couldn't care less.  Soccer? OK but the fans are way too loud and crazy.  Baseball's the best because at least I can keep up with the action.  Whoo-hoo! Wichita just made a basket--now they're down  by three. Whoa!  Now Kentucky scored--help! I can't keep up.  If I go according to Dave's outbursts i can get a pretty good feel for what's going on on the court.  There seems to be no forgiveness in sports.  You're either wonderful (perfect) or awful (less than perfect).  In my school days, girls didn't participate in competitive sports so I never developed that "do or die" attitude that men seem to have.

Dave and I graduated from WSU--he in 1975 with a Bachelor of Business Administration  and i in 1980 with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing.  While he was attending WSU, I was working on my RN at Wesley School of Nursing in Wichita, graduating in 1975 as well.  We moved to Wichita right after we were married in 1973 and lived there for 2 1/2 years.  With us both going to school full-time, working part-time and learning how to  be married, we were under a lot of stress.  May I say it once more?  A LOT of STRESS.  There were some touch-and-go times for sure.  The good news is that I was 600+ miles away from my family in Illinois so I had nowhere to run when times got tough.  That would have only made things much worse if I could have run home to Mommy whenever I wanted to get away.

Living in the "big city" was a switch for both of us as we were raised in very small mid-western towns of less than 3,000 people.  We started college in Hillsboro, Kansas at Tabor College.  A tiny, Christian school in a tiny Mennonite town in south central Kansas.  Kind of like an extension of High School.  It was a good place for me to get my feet wet in the big wide world of life. Until then I had been a mama's baby, especially when I was a kid.  I would often have to go back home on sleep overs because I was homesick.  That even happened at church camp.  Because of past experiences, I didn't know how I would adapt to being so far away from my family.  Surprisingly I did very well.  I fell right into the social scene of dorm living and had a ball.  Dave and I met the first week and that certainly helped me to feel happy there.  We were married two years later, changing majors, schools, living situations and my name all withing a few weeks!  Fun times.  We loved living in Wichita--a good big city to "cut your teeth on" as far as city living goes.  We exercised Dave's status as a brand new 21 year-old and found all the best college bars.  We danced, drank, went to parties, studied (maybe not as much as we should have) and generally had a pretty good time.  Being married was fun and it probably freed up a lot of time since we didn't have to plan dates.

Back to Wichita State...The years we were there there were some very good basketball teams and we enjoyed going to the games.  Wichita State hasn't had football since the entire team was killed an a tragic plane crash in 1969.  That was shortly before our time, but it made a huge impact on the school's sports department.  Dave joined a business fraternity while at WSU so we had an instant social group.  It was fun because there were always great parties.  I suppose they did did some "Business" stuff and Dave did make a lot of connections that served him well in his later business career.

Back to the game...We're behind 2 points and there are 42.6 seconds left.  Oh my......Oh, my oh my...Oh dear, we lost by 2.  After 35 wins and 0 losses, WSU lost by 2.  Well, that's sports for you.  Fortunately, our lives aren't based on how well or badly a sports team does.  We look to God for our guidance and have found this to be the true winning team!

So, as Tigger would say, "Ta Ta For Now!"

Just Breathe!

     One more post while I'm on a roll. . . As we have advertised unashamedly on FB, we are spending a few days on the central coast of CA.  This quick 3 day trip has been WONDERFUL!  We love it here! This is our "go to" place whenever we have had enough of our Real Life.  Stresses just roll off our backs the minute we roll into town.  That first magical glimpse of the waves is enough to make up for months or even years of trying to get by. 

      We first came to Pismo Beach around 1980 when we were in California visiting relatives.  We were still living in Kansas at that time.  Our relatives had condos on the beach and we were their guests for a few days.  We rented four-wheelers, ate way too much and soaked up some much needed sun.  Dave's parents fell in love with this area and in 1982 after a near fatal heart attack his dad and mom recuperated here.  The next time we came to the beach was in August of 1989, the year we moved to Fresno.  We had just endured two summer sessions of Greek at MBBS and desparately needed a vacation.  Our kids were ages 6, 5 and eighteen months.  Dave's parents visited us from Kansas and treated us to a weekend in Pismo.  They kept the kids in their room and rented us a full ocean view room.  I will always love them for that! 

     After that re-introduction, we have come here countless times over the past 24+ years.  While the kids were in school, we would come every Christmas.  The beach is deserted right before Christmas so we would usually come December 21 or 22 and stay until the day after Christmas.  Sometimes we would bring all the presents along and other times we would open them before we left.  Some years the trip WAS the present. On occassion we even brought Christmas tree lights to put around a plant in the hotel room.  Whatever we did to celebrate the holiday, we ALWAYS, without exception had the time of our lives.  Those memories are among the very best of ours and the kids'.  There was a freedom in being somewhere that had no resemblance whatsoever to the way we celebrated Christmas prior to moving to CA.  Being in retail sales, how well we did between Thanksgiving and Christmas really did make or break us.  That's where the bottom line either fell apart or held us for the rest of the year.  Being free from that pressure was an answer to prayer.  Spending that time at the ocean was a little hard to get used to.  We almost felt guilty.  But, that didn't last long and soon we considered Christmas at Pismo part of our Friesen tradition.
      This time we brought our dogs with us.  To this point they have been terrible travelers so we always left them at home.  On our last trip I discovered that 1 Benadryl would calm them and they have become great traveling companions.  Having Abbey and Eddie with us this week has given us many joyful moments.  They have loved playing on the beach and along the water.  One problem when you're only a few inches off the ground is that when you run, sand flies in your eyes and mouth.  But, they have been troopers! They loved the mini ice cream cones the nice lady at The Scoop gave them today.  We loved the ones she gave us, too!  But we had to pay for ours!

The reason we are here now is because I have been slowly falling apart over the past few weeks.  Physically I have been a train wreck as I have been trying to adjust to a  medication change.  My emotions have been all over the place and with all the other changes in our life right now I had several mini nervous breakdowns and sometimes felt like I was spinning out of control.  Dave, bless him, has been riding the wave with me and has been ever so patient.  BUT, it's been no picnic for him, either.  He's on a medical leave from work due to worsening of some of the medical issues he has been dealing with and we are making some major life decisions such as: when to retire and how to live on less income.  Those things are not IMPOSSIBLE, just difficult because there are so many things to consider.  As things are starting to level off and I'm feeling a bit better, life looks do-able again.  I had to come here to get my wits about me again.  This brief respite from our regular life has done us a world of good.  It's given us a mental boost to help us face all the physical obstacles we are dealing with right now.

     Today I sat on the sand with the setting sun in my face and breathed.  In yoga, when I'm doing the deep breathing along with movement, I picture a wave crashing to the shore as I let my breath out and receding back to the depths as I take my deep breath in.  I did that today in tandem with the real waves and that was a powerful reminder of the how I can slow myself down and come out of my endless cycle of anxiety that I find myself in at times.  I also took the devotional book we are working through called, "Jesus Calling" which has been an amazing tool for both of us as it hits us between the eyes time and time again just when we need it.  This morning as we sat on the pier we read today's devotional and scripture.  The theme was that difficult days are inevitable.  It's what we do with the challenges that makes the difference.  The more we go through the more experiences we can look back on and say, "Yep, that was hard but with God's help we made it."  We don't think God deliberately gives us troubles just to teach us a lesson but we do know that if we use him as our guide and mentor things go much more smoothly.  It changes our attitude.  It brings us out of ourselves and puts things into perspective.  Just like these shadows make us look way bigger than we really are, problems seems to grow way out of proportion until they aren't even recognizable anymore.

     As I sat there today I began to get sad about having to go back home tomorrow.  Why can't I just always stay in this relaxed state?  Then I realized that my life includes all of it.  If I stayed here all the time not dealing with anything unpleasant, a whole lot of stuff wouldn't get done and I would eventually find myself in a gigantic mess.  I HAVE to go home and deal with insurance, Medicare, home repairs, and all the decisions I don't want to make.  If I consider it as part of my life just as being here is part of my life it's a bit easier to go back.  The beach will always be here waiting for me to return.  My place of Sacred Communion with God is anywhere I make it.  If I go gently through each day, being in God's presence and experiencing the life he has planned for me I can lead a good and satisfying life wherever I am.  Joy is always available.  God will take me away from the craziness and give me a chance to fully experience the reality of his presence and then return me to my "regular life" enriched and empowered to carry on.  This involves faith and trust which I have.  He know what lies ahead and that is good enough for me.  If I stop trying to control the future and concentrate on living the best way I can, I will thrive and can be a blessing to those around me.  If I don't project too far into the future I can see that I'm going to be just fine...as long as I can return to my beloved ocean now and then!

DON"T Pull That Thread!!!

How many times have we heard that?  Or said it?  We live in fear of pulling that loose thread and having all hell break loose.  Yet, we've all done it, right?  There's something so tempting about pulling it.  Whether it results in a lost button or a lost hem, there is danger in that first pull...

I've learned a sad truth.  After age 50 or so, that loose thread starts with your primary care physician.  Just walking into her office with a seemingly "minor" problem initiates the launch sequence.  With one small tug, you are sent into the dizzying world of referrals, specialists, tests, tests and more tests.  And this phenomenon occurs in waves.  The first is around age 50.  The next wave happens in the sixties.  We're experiencing our second wave and it is not FUNNY anymore!

With each pull of the thread the threat gets worse. It can start with something as innocent as a yearly exam.  You mention a problem with indigestion as an aside.  That leads to blood tests, the dreaded occult blood stool test which in turn lands you in the gastroenterologist's office.  "Probably nothing, but..." leads to a colonoscopy preceded by a three day prep (you do have a history of constipation AND you are on pain medication AND your other conditions preclude you to need a longer prep...). With a little 'snip-snip' a 2mm polyp is removed and the "screening" becomes a "procedure" and it goes from $0 co-pay to $300 co-pay just like that!  Oh, and by the way, since they also checked from the mouth down, they found some stomach ulcers.  New medication changes, a few dietary considerations and see ya in 3 months for another quick look-see. And, by the way, since we found something in your colon, we'll repeat the colonoscopy in 5 years, not 10.  Super! Sorry.  Oh doc, I also have a funny bump on my nose.  Trot to the dermatologist and by golly--you have cancer.  Come back in 2 months and we'll try to remove it.  TWO MONTHS?? you say.  OK, then, we'll see you in 2 weeks.  But what about this marble sized mess on the top of my head?  Oh, that's nothing. Don't worry about it.  We'll cut it off but it will grow back.  Just don't mess with it.

These incidentals are just condiments to go along with the main course.   Between the two of us we have Parkinson's Disease, severe back issues (too numerous and technical to go into here--trying to keep it light, and all that), Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Hip fracture, knee fracture and back fusion with enough Titanium to build a space shuttle, Migraines, Chronic Pain, Mobility Impairment from nerve damage, arthritis and way too much stress.

Who pulled that first thread?  If we had never gone to the doctor in the first place we never would have been diagnosed with any of this stuff.  Oh, to be young and naive again!

As if things weren't bad enough with the health analogy, the thread philosophy applies to home repair as well.  Last time the boys were both home Dave asked them to take out some shrubs from the front of the the house a few weeks ago.(In this photo Matt is either directing the operation or mocking me as I scream, "NOOOOOOOOO")  They all thought it looked so much better and would be really great when they re-landscaped it, built a retaining wall, put some benches and a BBQ grill with a card table and folding chairs and lawn gnomes all around. How about 50 or so little lighted doo dads all over?  It all sounds so magical.  Again I scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"  They laughed their heads off.

Within a week Dave had contracted to have 6--which grew to 8--trees removed from our property (see previous blog).  Now that the trees are gone, there is a whole bunch of clean up that needs to be done that was never done because of all the trees being in the way covering things up.  AND, guess what? The fence that the trees were holding up because they had grown around it is coming down and will have to be replaced.  Our neighbor would like to help with the cost but can't right now so--ouch--the thread just got pulled a little more.  When that is done there will have to be some repainting of part of the fence and then we may as well paint the other part that was replaced by Matt a year ago.  And, while we have the paint out, there are a few areas of trim waaaaayyy up close to the roof that we neglected when we painted the house 2 years ago that should be done.  As you may recall, that whole house painting project came to a screeching halt when I did the half-gainer off the roof.

The really great thing about all of this is that I'm sitting just steps away from the Pacific Ocean as I write this.  Nothing can hurt me when I'm here.  I'm not even stressed out writing this.  I'm not.  I'm not.  I'm not.  I'm not.  I'm not.  I'm not.

Can't See The Forest For The Trees

I've been meaning to blog for a couple weeks but something or other prevents me from doing so.  Is it really so much trouble to open the laptop, connect to the blog site and write? That's not the hard part.  I have to have my pictures ready to publish and sometimes that's just too much trouble.  Well, enough on how darn lazy I've become.  The belated topic today is TREES.  I am a bit of a tree hugger.  I love them--the bigger the better.  I appreciate the work it takes to grow a tree and really love the old ones with all their characteristic gnarls, twists, turns, zigs and zags.  They represent life in general as they persevere against all odds to grow tall and strong.  When we bought our current house in 1994, we loved the trees on the then 14 year old lot.  They provided shade from the brutal Fresno summers sun and gave us some privacy from the too-close neighboring homes.  I could lay on my bed and look out right into the middle of the huge Chinese Elm tree right outside the second story bedroom window and make myself think that I lived in a big tree house.

When I was in grade school, we lived in an old home in Eureka, Illinois.  It was then about 50+ years old and full of nooks and crannies.  My bedroom on the second floor had seven windows marching along the two outside walls.  There were big trees in the lawn that were in the right place for me to envision that I lived in them.  I would look out those windows for a long time just imagining what it would be like to be a member of the Swiss Family Robinson.  My last memory of that room was the day we moved to a newer home.  I stood in my empty room at one of the windows with tears in my eyes wondering if I would ever have another bedroom like that one.  The one I have now isn't the same but it's close.  Or should I say it WAS close...

Last week we had 8 trees removed from our property--three big Chinese elms and five smaller
volunteers that cropped up and outgrew their locations.  Our property isn't big and we have a pool that takes up half of the back yard.  If you're not familiar with Chinese Elms, they grow fast and big with large outstretching canopies that provide wonderful shade.  They also have millions of tiny leaves that clog gutters, drains, pool pumps and walkways when they fall--in our case twice a year.  They also attract a certain insect that leaves a sticky residue on the leaves and anything that happens to be around it, such as a car parked in a driveway. The leaves are so sticky that it's impossible not to track them into the house.  In one of our rare thunderstorms, they can be several inches deep on the surface of the pool so you can't even see the water.  Every single one of them has to be removed by manually skimming them or through the skimmer basket.  Sometimes it takes only minutes to fill the basket.  The roots are so invasive that part of the pool decking is lifting and all the sidewalks have huge bumps.  The neighbors on both sides have complained for years about their fear of the roots breaking up the foundations on their houses.  Dave's been complaining of that, too but I wouldn't hear of cutting down "MY" tree!

But, it had to be done.  It was sad but it would be sadder to be sued by a neighbor and having to pay to replace their foundation ( or ours).  The time had come.  The guys who did the work were amazing.  Using principles of physics and geometry, they used ropes to drop the newly cut limbs precisely where they wanted them.  The one closest to the bedroom window was huge and they only had a few feet to work with between our house, the fence and the neighbor's house.  It was fascinating to watch as they shouted in Spanish to each other.  They also seemed to be having a good time wielding their chain saws and making a calculated mess.

When it was all over, I dreaded looking out of my window.  As I scurried from room to room to assess the view damage I was surprised at what I saw.  My trees were gone but I now had a chance to see what had been behind them all these years and was for the most part, pleasantly surprised.  I saw trees that I never knew existed.  The new abundance of sunlight is welcome now as fall and winter approaches but I'm not so sure what it will feel like next summer.  Surely the A/C bills will soar.  Too bad we didn't have that extra $40,000 burning a hole in our bank account when we first considered solar.  We'll just have to deal with the heat next year.  For now, bright is nice.

It's actually quite nice now that the trees are gone.  Since we don't burn wood in our fireplace and didn't need the wood, our neighbors took it off our hands and things are pretty well picked up.  Of course, now that everything is exposed we see that our fence is almost ready to fall so we have to replace that.  Also, the vines that were hidden by the trees are completely out of control so we need to do some more cleanup there.  Also, there are years and years of dead leaves formerly trapped in the roots, trunk and limbs of the trees that now need to be cleaned out.  I love working outdoors but have felt so lousy in the past several years that I haven't done anything outside.  I'd love to get out there and work but can't do as much as I want to.  Also, our gardeners have had it way too easy.  Now they will have to stay for longer than 10 minutes to do their weekly landscaping.  With everything exposed, there's a bit more work involved.

Our neighbors have commented that things look better now.  The house does look a bit more magnificent and bigger.  Things do look tidier.  All in all, it has been a good thing.  Sometimes drastic change is what's needed in my life to make me realize that what I hold on to so tightly may not be what I really want.  Good life lesson!